"The book was good, I take it?"
Tina's creamy complexion is rosy with blush, her makeup applied by Nixie, too. "Yeah, I can't wait to read the ending. I hope it's like the rest of the story."
"Oh, it's better..."
Imagine, if you will, you could look behind the doors into a high-class sexy lesbian escort and strip club, and peek through the doors and see everything that goes on inside. Imagine if you could watch the bed-mates of the owner herself, the drama between the girls after making love, and see everything from bitchy backstabbing to true and loving companionship.
And then drench all that in a sticky, sweet coating of lesbian sex.
Tasting her on the slick finger offered to your lips.
That look in her eye.
This book comes at me like the roar of a tornado, with the warning sirens blaring and the sky darkening and I stand in awe of its power and impact upon my psyche. The sex is well setup, appropriate, and delivers a satisfying kinky aftertaste like biting into red velvet cake. It teases, holds things back, and I get this terrible feeling of an ominous reckoning coming at this cast of lesbian castaways of normal life and business like that black, twisting shape dropping down from the clouds above. Things will not end well here in paradise, but watching them writhe, kiss, and take in each others' succulent delights is a voyeuristic delight enough for me.
While it lasts.
And if you understand that, you understand life and why sex is what it is.
Sex and love is humankind's best answer to death and hatred. We fight past perceptions, social media, bullshit, people telling us what to think and what to do, religion, organized groups of the anti-sex, intolerance, corporate greed and control - all to either watch two people share that moment or share a moment like that ourselves. Everyone in this world seeks to control sex and reproduction at any cost, from wars to beheadings blasted across our inboxes at every turn, and yet love and lust still finds a way to call bullshit on them all.
We can create all the fake we want in this world to try and control sex, but who we are shall always come through. I feel sorry for those who lie to themselves and accept what other people say.
Instead of listening to their hearts.
In the shadows of my mind - this is where Talia lives. The one girl who tempts to ruin my life, and nearly did, sways to a slow beat only she can hear in the middle of the spiral staircase - the place she's been appearing with frightening frequency. Her elusive appearance draws me into a spell cast long ago, in a different time, from a desperate place. Upset by her intrusion, I attempt to tell her to leave, but my voice is silenced by the sinister magic she exudes. Draped in white satin, she appears ethereal, dancing on heaven's ledge - a facade shattered by her compulsive need to crash and burn in hell. Talia can have anything she wants in the light of day, and yet she's addicted to dark paths. This unchangeable character profile is why her mental imprint must be ignored and buried in the past. Minutes after opening the floodgates containing her memory, I'm drowning, wanting to sink into the forbidden depths where she waits, determined to take me under, and refusing rescue.And that is just the first paragraph. Psycho-sexual lesbian thought control. This is the powdered sugar on top the cream cheese frosting on that red velvet cake. And this girl doesn't even have our heroine's best interests at heart, she could be using her, and yet the power she exhumes on our heroine's thoughts is greater than any weapon mankind can ever build or any bullshit scandal-de-jour on the front page of the newspaper. No wonder every organized group in this world seeks to control the power of sex and lust, through shame and arbitrary rules of conduct and demeanor.
It is the danger of living like an adult child all your life, and one I fear the new generation shall miss out on. The joy of being an adult and meeting other adults in adult settings and situations. There comes a socially-agreed-upon point at 18 when you walk through the door of adulthood and you take on that responsibility. You get to do all this adult shit, and enjoy life for a little while before you leave this world. It's our right before we die. Instead, money and marketing keeps us in the world of pubescence for at least 30 more years, and we all end up expecting to be treated like children for our entire lives.
Told what to do at every hour of the day.
Told what we can see and do.
Put with others like us so we won't fight.
Protected by a nanny-state.
To demand to be protected from ideas to corporations, medias, and governments, like words and images are some 'scary boogeyman' under the bed we all need to be reassured aren't there so we can sleep at night.
No, seriously, if you are 18 or older, grow the fuck up. It gets a lot better out here in the real world when there's nothing to protect you and you actually feel alive for once. When you can actually meet someone and find that secret thing call love and connection. To have your heart broken. To find love again. To have responsibility. To read and possess knowledge and wisdom.
This book gets it. It is a bit on the lesbian porny side and I don't mind that at all, but it sits here with a wisdom and maturity beyond its age and reflects the fucked up world of adulthood. People cry after sex. Some fuck for the thrill, get up, and leave without cuddling. Others use sex as a collar and wrap it tightly around another person's mind tightly. Some live in the faded glow of the slightly warm embers of passion, still content in the company of a former lover, but the fire isn't there. Maybe a wind will come along and stoke this into a full-blown fire, or maybe the ember will die out on its own and the two shall go their separate ways. Sometimes the new gal shows up and stokes a flame through the friction of her well-toned thighs.
It is all adult stuff, mature while still staying nasty, and we get every color of the fucked-up rainbow of sex and lust here. Fire hot reds. The curious heat of oranges. Suspicious yellows. Envious greens. Cool blues. The indigo innuendoes. And those 'she is a psycho bitch' purples.
Once upon a time we wanted to live in this life, to be characters in this drama of adult life.
Nowadays, we demand to be protected from it. To retreat in fear behind our entertainment (indifference) and organized beliefs of religious politics (right) or political religion (left). I don't blame these forces, but I do feel too many people use these things as shields to avoid dealing with the wondrous and sometimes hurtful joy of life.
It gets better too as we go along, from the little hints dropped in chapter titles, to the relaxed form of writing and character we can drop into like the fit of a snug leather glove. Characters we can identify just by the tone of the writing in the chapter. The ominous tease to the reader that things are all about to come crashing down. The moments where the characters miss the obvious, like the actors in a horror movie, and they keep going about having sex in the abandoned house. Nasty hook ups. Sacrifice. Lust. Ownership.
Being somebody on the stage.
Watching others step up into the spotlight, and exit this drama of life.
What matters is the performance together, not the wants of a single stand out.
I have always had an affinity for the movie Showgirls, beyond its camp and horrid acting it had a story that I felt understood how people got used by the system, and in a ways the movie itself was a victim of this force. This book reminds me of the better feelings I had for that movie, how people can get swept up in a fake world where there are real concerns, and then people try to bring their artistic vision into it and end up being screwed by a larger and impersonal force, the tide of humanity who just seeks what they are told entertains them, and that appeals to baser and more simple interests. Though this world there are real people hooking up, some trying to 'be someone', and others just passing through. What does not matter is not the face on the billboard, but who you are as a person.
And there are many still who walk these streets with their eyes lost in the flickering lights. Those who hook up just for the thrill. Those looking to control others and have their meal ticket punched. Those looking for partnership. Those who are alone. Those who don't give a fuck.
Be someone brave today. Grow up a little. Put yourself out there.
Be a little vulnerable.
If you ever want to live the life of a character out of these books, and it does happen, you will need to let go a little.
But this book sees that world outside of our box, and it reflects a little on how we fantasize about this world.
But this fantasy can tell us more about ourselves than we may want to know.
And then we realize this world may not be a fantasy at all, as it could be waiting for us just outside our tiny little worlds.
An excellent book, highly recommend, and looking forward to more.