"Sylvie, your computer is dead," Darthaniel said.
This was once last year, and within six months it happened again - although to my original Wordpress site and the whole mess turned out to be unrecoverable, at least by my skills. Now I am back and here, but the story below does summarize most of last year for me, one of forced change and adaptation, ending in rediscovery and rebirth. But I digress, and back to the story...
Well, wonderful. It happens doesn't it? Of course, in this day an age of cloud backups and online everything, I didn't lose a thing, but it is beside the point. I had plans to begin something big. I was connecting a new keyboard, one that I know I can do some serious work with. I had plans and thoughts, and I was thinking big.
I dusted.
Yes, you know I am serious if I dust.
It is like some invisible force is keeping me on my current path, away from a new book and on what I am currently doing. I need to take a computer apart, or get Darthaniel to do it, and go through the arduous process of installing Windows because the main drive is down. The universe came along and smacked me in the face with reality again.
An invisible force.
One I should probably pay heed to.
Oh, I am still here with reviews and workshops, and the site shall be as it is and was (and shall be no matter where it ends up) - so there is no change there. The universe wants me here so here I shall stay, being a singular voice in the tumult and sea of distraction. I am who I am and do what I do.
And I shall insert myself again. Here I did not stay, as the world shortly thereafter came crashing down and I began a six-month hiatus from writing and life. I needed the time, but the mass of reviews and work I have done still mostly remains offline. Back to my story...
The book can wait just a little longer (and in fact it still waits). You know that feeling, that you need to write and you just don't know what? That is me. A full tank of gas, wanderlust, a willingness to go, and no destination, and then you find out the car is broken.
I can wait a little longer.
I do however, have other things I am working on.
A bit of self education. Some music practice. My other arts. Reading.
Yes, things for me.
I am so selfish, I know, but you probably get enough of my random musings here.
I get enough of me here.
In times like this I think of the concept of saturation, and it is relevant in what we do because I feel we live in this post-sex world of erotica, where sex itself has went far beyond the point of over-saturation and people are seeking something deeper, something more. What that is every one of us must find for ourselves, and for our readers as well. But the concept of saturation can apply to our personal lives as well. I feel we can over-saturate ourselves with chasing success and become something we never wanted to be.
And the universe comes along and tells me physics and the laws of the universe of computers apply to me as well.
In my world, I don't expect them to apply to me. I am a champion of hope-based marketing! I believe in putting things out there and having them sell themselves. Everything I write is perfect. I don't need to market myself. My computers never break.
I am full of it in many ways, as I am sure you already know. This is just me, take me or leave me at my words and I hope you find some enjoyment in them all.
But it feels good to return to my roots, and rebuild a computer and work environment again. It is a metaphor for something larger, I know. Cleaning out the old and rebuilding with the new. A fresh install of life. A fresh and clean drive in my mind, and infinite space and possibility again.
Until the next drive fails, but I hope that won't be for a while.
And we know how this worked out, although that computer died again four months later and I suspect something majorly screwed is wrong with it. It still sits here beside my desk like some wounded dinosaur and I suppose in the closet it shall go someday. Back to my original thoughts...
But I don't need to throw everything out, and like with any good rebuild, you keep a lot of what worked and what still has use. You take stock in what you have, and refocus. You make a list of the programs and tools you need, and refocus on those.
And then you realize your Dragon Dictate user profile of over four years of dictation training and user data was on that drive and the universe slaps you in the face again.
You son of a...
Sigh.
Life cannot be perfect, but we can pretend we are. Maybe that was a tool I need to re-evaluate. Maybe I need to finally get around to updating it. Do I work with dictation enough that I need really it? Again, you find things in the pile of broken tools and pieces of your work life that you take needed stock in what it is you need to work versus some of the things you thought were irreplaceable.
Maybe I need to reevaluate more than just getting this computer back online.
Maybe I need to think deeper than that.
Do not squander the power of change, and the power of negative forces in your life to push you towards your goals. Do not be afraid of transformational disaster, as every disaster clears the ground for something new. You need to be this way, endlessly flexible and open to clearing out the old and planting a new crop of success for your future. You need to see complete and utter failure for the opportunity it presents.
Wreckage is not something to feel sorry for, it is an opportunity to work hard, clear it out, and begin again.
So many people never get that chance to start again, yet disasters in our lives present this chance to us with regular frequency. We end up feeling so bad about our misfortune we never stop, take a second look, and realize there is something greater here sitting in front of our faces.
A chance to rebuild.
This was once last year, and within six months it happened again - although to my original Wordpress site and the whole mess turned out to be unrecoverable, at least by my skills. Now I am back and here, but the story below does summarize most of last year for me, one of forced change and adaptation, ending in rediscovery and rebirth. But I digress, and back to the story...
Well, wonderful. It happens doesn't it? Of course, in this day an age of cloud backups and online everything, I didn't lose a thing, but it is beside the point. I had plans to begin something big. I was connecting a new keyboard, one that I know I can do some serious work with. I had plans and thoughts, and I was thinking big.
I dusted.
Yes, you know I am serious if I dust.
It is like some invisible force is keeping me on my current path, away from a new book and on what I am currently doing. I need to take a computer apart, or get Darthaniel to do it, and go through the arduous process of installing Windows because the main drive is down. The universe came along and smacked me in the face with reality again.
An invisible force.
One I should probably pay heed to.
Oh, I am still here with reviews and workshops, and the site shall be as it is and was (and shall be no matter where it ends up) - so there is no change there. The universe wants me here so here I shall stay, being a singular voice in the tumult and sea of distraction. I am who I am and do what I do.
And I shall insert myself again. Here I did not stay, as the world shortly thereafter came crashing down and I began a six-month hiatus from writing and life. I needed the time, but the mass of reviews and work I have done still mostly remains offline. Back to my story...
The book can wait just a little longer (and in fact it still waits). You know that feeling, that you need to write and you just don't know what? That is me. A full tank of gas, wanderlust, a willingness to go, and no destination, and then you find out the car is broken.
I can wait a little longer.
I do however, have other things I am working on.
A bit of self education. Some music practice. My other arts. Reading.
Yes, things for me.
I am so selfish, I know, but you probably get enough of my random musings here.
I get enough of me here.
In times like this I think of the concept of saturation, and it is relevant in what we do because I feel we live in this post-sex world of erotica, where sex itself has went far beyond the point of over-saturation and people are seeking something deeper, something more. What that is every one of us must find for ourselves, and for our readers as well. But the concept of saturation can apply to our personal lives as well. I feel we can over-saturate ourselves with chasing success and become something we never wanted to be.
And the universe comes along and tells me physics and the laws of the universe of computers apply to me as well.
In my world, I don't expect them to apply to me. I am a champion of hope-based marketing! I believe in putting things out there and having them sell themselves. Everything I write is perfect. I don't need to market myself. My computers never break.
I am full of it in many ways, as I am sure you already know. This is just me, take me or leave me at my words and I hope you find some enjoyment in them all.
But it feels good to return to my roots, and rebuild a computer and work environment again. It is a metaphor for something larger, I know. Cleaning out the old and rebuilding with the new. A fresh install of life. A fresh and clean drive in my mind, and infinite space and possibility again.
Until the next drive fails, but I hope that won't be for a while.
And we know how this worked out, although that computer died again four months later and I suspect something majorly screwed is wrong with it. It still sits here beside my desk like some wounded dinosaur and I suppose in the closet it shall go someday. Back to my original thoughts...
But I don't need to throw everything out, and like with any good rebuild, you keep a lot of what worked and what still has use. You take stock in what you have, and refocus. You make a list of the programs and tools you need, and refocus on those.
And then you realize your Dragon Dictate user profile of over four years of dictation training and user data was on that drive and the universe slaps you in the face again.
You son of a...
Sigh.
Life cannot be perfect, but we can pretend we are. Maybe that was a tool I need to re-evaluate. Maybe I need to finally get around to updating it. Do I work with dictation enough that I need really it? Again, you find things in the pile of broken tools and pieces of your work life that you take needed stock in what it is you need to work versus some of the things you thought were irreplaceable.
Maybe I need to reevaluate more than just getting this computer back online.
Maybe I need to think deeper than that.
Do not squander the power of change, and the power of negative forces in your life to push you towards your goals. Do not be afraid of transformational disaster, as every disaster clears the ground for something new. You need to be this way, endlessly flexible and open to clearing out the old and planting a new crop of success for your future. You need to see complete and utter failure for the opportunity it presents.
Wreckage is not something to feel sorry for, it is an opportunity to work hard, clear it out, and begin again.
So many people never get that chance to start again, yet disasters in our lives present this chance to us with regular frequency. We end up feeling so bad about our misfortune we never stop, take a second look, and realize there is something greater here sitting in front of our faces.
A chance to rebuild.
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